My Tongue

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. James 3:2 (ESV)

James says some really hard things in his letter. None hits me where it hurts like chapter 3. My tongue has certainly caused me to stumble…more like fall flat on my face…on more than one occasion.  It easy to see that I’m not the perfect man James is speaking of. I’ve got quite a ways to go to achieve the high bar of perfection.

The Bible does tell of this perfect man James attains to, Jesus. He’s the only man in history that always said the right thing at the right time. Sometimes kind words, others biting; sometimes encouragement and sometimes rebuke. All through his life the Pharisees are asking him questions trying to trip him up with his words but they never succeeded. At his “trial” the council was unable to produce witnesses that could agree on anything he had said that could be used against him. Even in the midst of the horrible agony and humiliation of the cross his words are not, Father destroy them for their wickedness, but rather “forgive them because they have no idea what they’re doing.” That’s a Gospel wow moment!

 I’m sure I’ll trip over my tongue again in the future. James reminds me that Jesus is my example and the ideal and in regard to my tongue I should keep striving to be more like him.

Thoughts on Psalm 139

Psalm 139:1-12 with a few thoughts of mine inserted.

O Lord, You have searched me and You know me.

You know when I sit down and when I ruse up;

You understand my thoughts from afar <while I was His enemy>.

You scrutinize my path and my lying down

And are acquainted with all my ways <no good deed…>.

Before a word is on my tongue <no good word…there is none righteous, no not one>,

O Lord, You know it completely.

You have enclosed me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me <divine ambush!>.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me <amen>;

It is too lofty for me to attain <and amen>.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your present?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there <best case scenario>;

If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there <worst case scenario>.

<God is present in both extremes and all in between!>

If I take the wings of the dawn,

If I dwell in the furthest part of the sea,

Even there Your hand will lead me;

Your right hand will lay hold of me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will cover me,”

Even the night will be light around me.

The darkness is not dark to You,

And the night shines as the day;

Darkness and light are alike to You.

<Darkness doesn’t stump Him.  Light isn’t helpful.  He is GOD.>

Praise His name.

A Proverbs Experience

I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed a day so much.  We went to church like we do most Sundays.  On the way home, Ken seemed distant and down.  I had forgotten Sunday was the anniversary of his dad’s death.  Ken said, “I don’t know why, but today I miss my dad.”  I knew exactly what he meant, and we both cried for our dads.

When we got home, we fixed our dinner.  None of the kids were there.  We had vegetables in a basil sauce and Italian sausages seasoned with basil.  That was all.  I joked to Ken that “better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox with hatred.”  (C’mon…it was a simple meal.  You can give me that.  A simple meal with an herb.)  We enjoyed that dinner.

In the afternoon, Ken asked me if I would like to go on a hike/walk at a historical site in Clinton known as Musgrove Mills.  The British camped on the Musgroves’ property during the Revolutionary War because the property ran along a river and there were many fords.  We hadn’t walked more than a minute when I twisted my ankle.  Trust me, this is a story all by itself but I won’t tell it now.  Ken helped me up, and I was so relieved my ankle wasn’t broken, I started laughing. I felt almost hysterical at first but when Ken laughed with me, it had a calming effect.  We laughed about ten minutes.  It felt good.

We came home and I got in my easy chair to get the swelling in my ankle down.  Mom had sent an email about a message she’d heard on the last days.  Since I was sitting and had the time, I listened to the message.  Afterwards, I summarized it for Ken which prompted a discussion between us. Since neither of us had answers for the questions it raised, he found one of his books called These Last Days.  He read quite a bit of it to me and we puzzled and learned together.  I enjoyed it so much.  I think we both did.

Simplicity with love.   Excess with animosity.  I get it now.  I wouldn’t trade that day for anything.   

Jesus, Friend of Sinners

For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Luke 7:33-34 (ESV)

Here Jesus mentions some of the things people said about him. They're meant as obvious insults and also to discredit him with those who were following him rather than the Jewish authorities. So how did he come to be characterized this way? It was because these were the people he spent most of his time with. Now it is true that we see him at the Temple, in synagogues, and invited to the homes of Pharisees, but the majority of his time is spent with “sinners.” The Samaritan woman at the well, a Roman Centurion, Zaccheus, a woman who touches him in a crowd, the woman taken in adultery. Jesus came seeking the lost so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he was a friend of sinners. He came with a message of hope for sinners and sinners listened to him and many became his followers.

So what about me? What am I doing to cultivate friendships with sinners? More importantly am I looking for ways to share the Gospel with them? Do I spend time hanging out in places I might meet people or do I mostly hang in Christian circles? Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with Christian friends but still Jesus was actively seeking relationships with sinners not the “church crowd” of his day.

Jesus, friend of tax collectors and sinners and I’m glad. If not, Jesus could not be my friend because I am a sinner saved by God’s immeasurable grace. Lord, help me to see my neighbors, coworkers, and others you bring across my path as friends who need to meet the friend who sticks closer than a brother.

May 4, 2009

 ...yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. James 4:14 (ESV)


This is the day 3 years ago that my Dad suffered his stroke. In some ways it seems impossible that 3 years have passed and in other ways it seems like just yesterday. In many ways most of the day proceeded as the majority of the days of my life had proceeded.

I was off work that day and heading to pick up Abby from school. She was week away from graduating from High School. Her exams would be starting that week. Mary called to tell me that Mom had called her and my Dad was being taken by Ambulance to the hospital. I dropped Abby off at Mary's work and headed straight to the hospital thinking that Dad had overdone it once again and Mom wanted him checked out. I arrived in the ER to see the paramedic finishing up his paperwork with Mom. That was the first time I heard the word "stroke" mentioned. After some paperwork, Mom and I were allowed to go back to see him. That image will be burned in my mind...bear in mind that at this point it had been less than an hour since Mom had summoned the paramedics to the house. His left side was already totally paralyzed. When I spoke to him his right eye looked at me and he reached out with his right hand and I grabbed it. He tried to speak but couldn't and tears were streaming down his face. Soon after the ER Doctor informed Mom and me that the neurologist had viewed the EKG and Dad had suffered major brain damage and there was nothing more that could be done other than make him comfortable. Dr Kendall, the family doctor, would confirm the diagnosis. By later that night Dad would slip into a coma and 2 days later he was dead.

I miss my Dad. His 75 years really do seem like no time at all. Life is short and we all will face death one day. My Dad's life meant many things to me but most of all that life was about a relationship that spanned the 50 plus years of my life. A relationship I will never enjoy again this side of eternity! It reminds me to make the most of the relationships I have in this life because my life has appeared for a little time and before I know it will vanish from this world.

Lord Willing...I'm Crossing the Jordan

This week, I attended a college graduation party for a young lady.  She paid for her own schooling with scholarships.  She had a double major and achieved a 4.0 in both majors.  She saved her money and bought two used cars.  She graduated Tuesday, May 1^st, and left for Europe on May 2^nd (paid for it herself). In July, she’s going to the Marshall Islands under a Harvard program to teach English and share her faith.  She saved the money and paid the $2,000 for the year-long trip to the Marshall Islands. 

It got me to thinking.  What am I doing??  I grew up hearing the words “Lord willing, we will do this or that” all my life.  Did I cut that sentence short?  Have I been saying “Lord willing!“ instead of “Lord willing, I will do so and so!”?  Her life has been a rebuke. Her circumstances would have kept me from attending college, not to mention any of her other achievements.  Shame on me.

One of my goals is to better manage our money.  We have a refinance offer at 3.25%.  This is one small step for Mankind Koch.  I have 26 pages of an application to fill out, and who knows what else, but I will not be deterred (Lord willing J).  Another goal is to get rid of credit card debt in 4 years.  This will take a miracle, but by God’s grace, I’ve set the goal and I’m making an effort.  This particular goal has a story that I’ll share another time, by the way.

Life is like the Jordan.  God did not part the waters until the priests stepped into the river.  The same is true for us.  Our “way” doesn’t open up until we step into “it”, and I’m finding a lot of the time, God was willing after all!! One thing is for sure, the river didn’t part while they were in their tents.  Get up. Be ready.  Do. And Lord willing, it will be done.